i won't be there

as usual, there are so many deep things i could say that i've been thinking about, but the truth is i still just don't have the energy to put them down on page, so that they(the words) could do justice to the thought. I think college has ruined me for deep thought. after being forced to consume books, and spit out papers for so long, its become impossible for me to write or read without it feeling like work. Even thinking has lost some of its joy for me. Before college i would sit up all night, or spend a whole day just pondering some lofty subject, just thinking... why? because i enjoyed it. now, if it isn't mindless, or at least non-intellectual, i really have a hard time enjoying it at all. i keep thinking this is going to pass, after all its been a year since college, my mind must recover soon right? but still whenever i start to have a meaningfull or deep thought for more than like 10 minutes at a time, my mind will push it aside and say "maybe some other time" or "i'll save that for later" which of course really means... i'll probably never think of this again, and if i do, i'll just procrastinate it some more. yes sir.

i bought a motorbike. not a new one, but new to me. its an 82 yamaha 750 maxim. its in pretty much perfect shape, and i got it for 2 grand. i'm enjoying myselfand the bike ALOT, in the week i've had it i've already put about 4 or 5 hundred Km on it. It has NO wind protection, or fairings, which makes it tiring to ride at high speeds. Riding a street bike of course is much different than my experience on dirt bikes, especailly a 750 old school cruiser style bike. I like it alot, i think though, if i have a next bike it will be something that sticks to the corners better, and has more wind protection.

I'm sick of grand forks. I'm sick of pope and talbot. My student loans while still large, are smaller and no longer quite as overwhelming. There fore i have decided to start pursueing other career options. by this i mean i'm going to continue working and living here, but hopefully will have the motivation to look for a real job that i will actually enjoy doing for the rest of my life. i'm still hoping ot get into the airforce, but my application has been indefinately delayed, due to the fact that i left the country once :S

also my close buddy derek is moving out of town next week, which helped bring me to the sudden realisation that i need to get out of here soon.

i need a female companion.... (a girlfriend)

thats it, i'm done, i won't say anymore.