June 05, 2005

deep thoughts, revisted again

you know i've been thinking so many deep thoughts lately, but i don't know how to put them into words. I know that whatever I say will probably be misunderstood. thats the way it is when your thinking really deep thoughts, you understand but you fail to see how you can make someone else understand. by the time you think it out to make it clear enough for some one else, its not really that deep anymore. it loses its mystery, it loses its power over your own mind.

I finally watched star wars revenge of the sith last night, and i don't care what anybody else says, it was the best one, except maybe empire strikes back. I want to watch them all again now - I know its good cause it made me want to watch them all again.

you know, i've come to believe that the term christian is a fairy tale. most people who I meet who while may believe in christ, and may be saved, in no way resemble him or his character. Christian means 'little christs' or christlike. and I don't think i've ever met many christians that are very christ like.

most christians i've met are not only to intimidated by the world to reach out in love and kindness, but they are too intimidated to even reach out to each other in love or kindness. Many christians i've met don't seem to be able to forgive, and they don't seem to even have the slightest capacity for putting others needs before their own (some of us try to, but fail, while most don't even try). Often when they do (or we), its so that they can feel good about themselves and how righteous they are. We have become so much like the pharisee's that it sickens me. I look around myself and ask 'where are the people of God' and 'who are the people of God' and find myself not only saddened to not find any, but saddened that I cannot even count myself among their number. Yes I believe in Christ and God, and I would consider myself a christian if someone asked my my faith, but I don't think in the true sense of the word I am anywhere close. And I have yet to meet anyone that is.

I can thank God for grace that me, and most of you are saved, but God we also need your grace to be a church that "loves one another as you have loved us," and "loves our neighbors as ourselves"