Seven

A challenge is a challenge. I've interpreted this as “seven of the top things” rather than “the top seven things.” That being the case, nothing is in any particular order. Top-ten-type lists are kind of a pet peeve of mine. I wonder why these are top seven lists anyway...

I want to do before I die:

1. Learn to whistle with my fingers.
   
2. Become fluent in at least one “second” language.
   
3. Create something many people will enjoy for a long time. Music maybe.
   
4. Get rid of everything I own.
   
5. Fly an aeroplane.
   
6. Get all my friends into one room. A really small room perhaps; that could be fun!
   
7. Sex. You heard me.
   

Things I cannot do:

1. Whistle with my fingers.
   
2. Open my eyes under water.
   
3. Function with cold hands.
   
4. Drive a manual transmission. Well, maybe “should not” would better apply here. ;-)
   
5. Motivate myself. Yeah, that's a tough one.
   
6. Commit to, decide on, or make up my mind on much of anything.
   
7. Build a decent fire under even the slightest of adverse conditions. I was the shame of my scout troop.
   

Things that attract me to the opposite sex:

1. Self respect.
   
2. Honesty.
   
3. Natural boobies.
   
4. Unusual interests.
   
5. Musical affinity.
   
6. Geekiness and nerdery of almost any kind.
   
7. Smiles, in quality or quantity.
   

Things I say most often:

1. “Okay, here's what we do...”
2. “Good stuff.”
3. “Right on.”
4. “Solid.”
5. “You prob'ly shouldn't listen to a word I say, it's bad for your health.”
6. “What's the haps?”
7. “Wasn't me.”

Celebrities I find attractive (was “celebrity crushes”):

1. Liv Tyler
   
2. Jennifer Connelly
   
3. Teri Hatcher
   
4. Helen Hunt
   
5. Jessica Biel
   
6. Alyson Hannigan
   
7. Angela Lansbury — wait... no.
   

I had to change that last category because I honestly can't recall ever having a crush on a celebrity — except maybe Jennifer Connelly, who stole my heart in “the Labyrinth.” Yes your plight moved me, 16-year old Jennifer. I guess I must have been... what? Six years old? But that didn't stop the passion between us. No, I knew you needed me then. I wanted to help you and your rag-tag group of Muppet friends rescue your baby brother from the Goblin King, David Bowie. I've still got a score to settle with you, Bowie!

But I digress.

I like to keep my crushes deceptively close, but just out of reach; someone I've at least met, but who wouldn't go out with me if I were the last man on Earth. Mmm-mmm! Now that's some good crushin'!